You wake up in a small bedroom in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn, sweaty, disoriented.

You are Jeremiah Budin. You are a comedy writer.

You have been a staff writer at Above Average and The Kicker, as well as Curbed and Curbed NY.

You are a regular contributor to The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and other places.

You have written for and directed several teams in the BoogieManja sketch comedy program.

You are one of the co-writers of HINT: A Murder Mystery, which ran at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

You have a Twitter.

As you fumble for your glasses, you remember that your email address is jeremiahbudin [at] gmail [dot] com.